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Mafia Gazette Past Issue 56
The Mafia Gazette Issue 56 'Special War Issue ' For All The News That Is News (E&OE) Sunday 20th November 'WAR SPARKED BY FLAME OF MADE’S ACTIONS ' The war between The Priesthood and ASDA was sparked by the actions of one Made Man, recently reported in the newspaper as being a mass murderer. We at the newspaper were contacted by the Grandson of JazzMouse who told us the whole story: During the period prior to the war, JazzMouse became disenchanted with the state of the community, finding it unfulfilling and deciding to leave the life of crime by ending his own life in dramatic fashion. His choice of endings was to systematically, without authorisation, to kill off MrMerc, Micki and Solid_Snake among others on his kill list that we have now learned was over 100 and possibly as much as 130 people. He had no idea at the time that his actions would lead to the war and the loss of so many other good people from the community, thinking instead that he would be hunted and killed for what he had chosen to do. His son made a statement following his death stating that he had not been under orders from ASDA to carry out the killings, however this seems to have been ignored and Destruction became a target. When Paulo was killed in defence, the war began in earnest. Many other factors led to this final all-out war that claimed the lives of so many, and still seems to continue to do so as more die every minute. We can only hope that the futility of the situation will be seen, as the current alarming death toll leaves more and more people bereft of family members and perpetuates the killing. 'AN OPEN LETTER FROM KISS_THIS ' To all Firstly, I need to say this war saddens me greatly, I have lost beloved family and I know that the other families to have suffered losses. As the streets run with blood from both families and before anymore needless blood be spilt I wish for peace, and call for a cease fire from all involved. I would like a sit down meeting of the leaders to talk and debate how we can call a truce and work together again. Not because we are losing, but I think the graveyard shows that clearly enough sons and daughters are now mother or fatherless. Mistakes have been made on both sides. These need not be aired here and now in this letter because as always there are two sides to every story and it would be unfair of me to say anything without the other parties involved having the chance for their side to be heard to. I do not want a petty squabble, I want a path upon which we can move forward. So Gentlemen do you accept? NOTE: This item was submitted prior to the peace that has subsequently claimed to be made between the two groups. More statements are awaited from both sides and will be brought to you as soon as we have them. 'PUBLIC OPINION SWAYS TOP DOGS ' By: Source After a black few hours of war the families of the Priesthood and ASDA have called a truce. During the war many innocent bodies lined the pavements and padres found themselves under immense pressure to say the funerals of the fallen. After the truce the streets were aflame with public outrage at the warring leaders. This public outrage was directed souly at the lack of communication between the ruling families of the cities and acknowledgement has been given by both respective families that there was a serious breakdown that lead to the war. In addition the public demanded a meeting between the enemy leaders in order to bury their differences and return as allies to restore peace and stablilty to the country's underground mafia population... It seems that the leaders have succumbed to public opinion and a Ralphie_The_Gun made a brief statement in the presence of a large crowd stating that there was a meeting to take place between Priesthood and ASDA leaders and he furthered the statement to extend the opportunity for LVC representitives to attend. If all three families attend this could be the most important council of our generation restoring peace to the land and stability to the underworld. Many prominent public speakers have applauded the move and wished the parties the best of luck. All we can do now, is wait for the publishing of the meeting's minutes... The public eagerly awaits. 'DECEPTION AND DISHONOUR: MORAL ISSUES AND A TALE OF A NARROW ESCAPE ' By: Gazette Reporter War is a terrible path on which to embark and the decision should never be taken lightly. Once the orders are given, any Boss feels the weight of the world on his/her shoulders as (s)he leads his Family through the crisis. A wartime Boss has a great many concerns: who’s attacking me; who needs defending; who have I got left to attack with; who needs finishing off? Yet, what of the Family’s honour? As well as the members of any given Family, the Family’s honour must also be protected. Again, the argument re-surfaces. From the dawn of our civilization, “random” has been a word that arises frequently. I find that term intriguing... “random”. The probability of a random event is the same from any given moment to the next. The event cares not how long it has been since time began; nor how much time remains. The probability of a random event occurring is always the same. During times of peace, I am pleased to say that the vast majority of our community’s leaders keep control of their Family members and it would seem that “random” attacks are mainly confined to bored rogues with no family to speak of. The victims are purely the nearest Mafiosi. Yet I wonder how “random” such attacks are in times of war? The Boss is distracted, the main focus of the Family is on surviving and thwarting the enemy... with so many dying on both sides of the conflict, who’s going to investigate the deaths of uninvolved Mafiosi? While the Family fights an honourable war, the cowards slink off into the shadows to attack those who do not expect it. To attack someone from a Family that has not been put on war alert. Events in the life of an uninvolved Mafioso in chronological order: 1. Nov 19 12:00.03 AM You paid $XXX,XXX to your bodyguard. 2. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM You suffered a superficial wound, when you were shot by XXXXXXXXXXXXXX. 3. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM Either someone was shooting nearby or a car backfired. 4. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM You suffered a superficial wound, when you were shot by XXXXXXXXXXXXXX. 5. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM You suffered a superficial wound, when you were shot by XXXXXXXXXXXXXX. 6. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM You murdered XXXXXXXXXXXXXX. 7. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM XXXXX attacked you, but missed. 8. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM Your bodyguard : You suffered a nearly fatal wound, when you were shot. 9. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM You suffered a superficial wound, when you were shot by XXXXX. 10. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM You killed XXXXX in self defense. 11. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM Your bodyguard : You suffered a major wound, when you were shot. 12. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM You suffered a severe wound, when you were shot by XXXXXXXXX. 13. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM Your bodyguard : Either someone was shooting nearby or a car backfired. 14. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM You suffered a nearly fatal wound, when you were shot. 15. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM Either someone was shooting nearby or a car backfired. 16. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM Your bodyguard : Either someone was shooting nearby or a car backfired. 17. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM You suffered a superficial wound when you were shot by XXXXXXXXX. 18. Nov 19 X:XX.XX PM You killed XXXXXXXXX in self defense. A group of individuals, who shall remain nameless, were low-ranking members of a Family, which shall remain nameless. During a war, they attacked an uninvolved Mafioso purely on the grounds that he was nearby. This not only caused the uninvolved Mafioso a fair bit of grief, but cost the individuals their lives and consequently, cost their Family an additional 3 guns with which to mount a defence and very nearly gained another adversary for their Family to fight. These were selfish and cowardly acts that gain no honour or respect. As you can see, these attacks were not “random” in nature; they were premeditated, put the Family’s good name at risk, and recklessly invited the possibility of further enemies for the Family to fight. In short, these are amongst the most dishonourable actions any Mafioso could undertake. Given the risks involved to the Family, it would be fair to judge that ESPECIALLY at a time of war, a Boss should keep intimate control of his/her Family to avoid grave discredits attributed to his/her Family’s good name. 'ONE PERSON’S VIEWS OF WAR ' A member of my family was fairly well trusted within the Priesthood before their death. The journal notes and stories this person told me, and left for me to find, allow me to bring you what I'm about to say without betraying confidence placed in me, or in my family. From the perspective of the Priesthood, as far as I've been able to gather, this war started when JazzMouse killed off one of the made men in the family. It was later discovered, that Kiss_This had supposedly ordered the hit. It seems to some in the family that this explanation is just a bit too simple and after the last article in the paper about groups trying to set these two families against each other a set-up may very well have taken place. In my eyes, based on what I know the PH has acted what most would consider in an honourable fashion. However, However, I've also become aware (from reading funeral notes) that ASDA seem to think the same thing of their members, and actions. Now if both sides see themselves as only 'defending themselves' against attacks from the other side something is VERY wrong with this picture. Personally, I'd be looking to talk this out, but both trust and reason seem to be in short supply with revenge seemingly higher on many peoples wish list. I would even be willing to go so far as to suggest if the sides involved in this DID talk it out they might quickly find that things didn't add up the way they seemed to in the hours before the war began. Knowing what I know, I think we've been played, all of us by someone very crafty. Bullets that have been fired can not be taken back, and words spoken in anger may have caused wounds which will take a long time to heal but perhaps amid all the shooting, someone should stop for a moment and ask the obvious question: Who benefits most if ASDA / PH wipe each other out? 'BANK ROBBERIES TO BLAME? ' Over the last couple days we have been seeing numerous high rankers amongst our community shot dead…far more than usual (as lets face it, we always see the odd high ranker dead). And finally we at the Gazette can bring you the supposed tale of events behind these murderous circumstances. It all started a few days back when the now infamous bank robberies occurred. It was alleged by members of the ASDA group that high ranking associates of the group calling themselves the Priesthood were behind these nefarious money making schemes. Now as has become depressingly typical in our streets of late these groups were unable to sort their differences in words (assuming they even tried of course) and quickly resorted to violence in a move that would surely shame our Sicilian forefathers (after all too much bloodshed always attracts the attention of the police….something we Mafioso would really rather not have thank you very much).. This violence has only escalated over the ensuing days, claiming the lives of numerous innocent bystanders and neutral parties and obviously attracting many of the more high profile and talented guns for hire amongst our community (as well as numerous less talented and moronic ‘shot coz dats wut we dO’ types). Now it threatens the very structure of ours society…with a rapid decrease in the number or Made Men amongst us. Perhaps this is good…if the current Made Men and Women are too quick to reach for their guns then their falling to the gun may leave opportunity for more level heads to rise…or perhaps it could result in the Gods taking action against us all in a show of disgust, or perhaps it will just take all of our lives in the violence until there is little left…only time will tell. 'LETTERS PAGE ' War, huh! Yeah… What is it good for? … Sod all, is the short answer to that one folks. ASDA and Priesthood went to war, we all know this. It seems for now that ASDA have bopped their way through PH without too much of a loss, but to the community as a whole, this has cost us dearly. Innocent neutral parties have inadvertently been drawn into this conflict and many have fallen needlessly. Lexicon, Aphex, and countless others have been caught in the middle and “our thing” will not recover from their loss for a very long time. There have been rumours and speeches from both sides as to who started it, and for what reason, but the simple truth was thankfully laid out by Ralphie_The_Gun with the following statement from ASDA: “…some members got bored and went rouge because of our tight whacking rules.” Now, I’m not one to talk for everybody, but this refreshing honesty has certainly made this whole thing seem a little less frustrating. Initially there were attempts from both sides to dodge the blame, but this has now been put right. Meanwhile, PH are still being gunned down by many formerly neutral factions after the death of Lexicon, and this is not looking likely to end any time soon. Some would say they brought this upon themselves, I’m inclined to agree. Stay groovy boppers. - Randle McMurphy 'CLASSIFIEDS ' Anyone wishing to place an ad should send it in to CarmelaDeAngelis at the Gazette Offices in Chicago. All ads are free, but must still fall within the set guidelines. 'Anyone wishing to submit articles should do so by 10am Mafia time on the day of publications. Articles will be paid for on an individual basis. Please contact CarmelaDeAngelis, Editor of The Mafia Gazette, at the Gazette Offices, Chicago. All articles must conform to the guidelines available in the booklet “Newspaper Recruiting” available on the newsstand and will be paid for. Normal articles will receive $5,000 and outstanding items will receive $10,000. '